Illustration for article titled How to make your Phablet Fabulous

I am the semi-proud (and possibly an escapee from the mental ward) owner of a Samsung Galaxy Note II. This is the phone of a poor engineer. It’s not as clumsy or random as an IPhone; but it’s an elegant tool for a more civilized age. However it’s an incomplete tool without the loving embrace of the Proporia leather case.

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The story of the Note 2, is the story of how I entered the twenty tens with twenty ought technology. Before, in the time before time, when the Earth was new and giant republican monsters ruled the DC, I was a simple minded flip phone users. I was content in my knowledge that the phone did indeed flip, the Earth was possibly flat and Pluto may be a planet but was probably just a collection of pixels God painted on the backdrop. How times have changed.

For me the world changed when I got my first “Smart Phone” suddenly, I didn’t need to wake up the hamsters at home to get the old desk top and dial up running. The internet was at my fingertips, all of the world’s knowledge was with me always, and I would never ever be lost again. Of course I would also learn that battery life was a wildly optimistic approximation, the touch screen shouldn’t be touched, and the phone could do everything but phone. Most importantly, the phone would call, dial, browse and do whatever my pants desired. I became used to dropped calls, dead phones, and people ignoring me and accusing me of “Butt calls”

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This changed when I upgraded to the now relic Note II. Suddenly, I had a fully functional lightsbre phone. All the promises came true, and my provider started screaming at me for downing 20 gigabytes of data a month. However, not all was perfect and wonderful in lost engineer land. The pants screen monster continued to haunt my friends, screens would crack, batteries would drain, and life remained rather untenable. The Proporia case solved all of that.

See the case has a truly novel feature that no Otter box or other whiz bang gimmick can match. You can close and open it! Suddenly I can protect my precious screen. More importantly the reinforced leather back case is something straight out of the medieval ages. You can, and I have beat people off with the pleaded leather armored wrapped Note II. It’s been eaten by dogs, dropped from unimagined heights and fallen out of airplanes. Ok the airplane one is a hyperbole, the airplane is a little one, and it was in the garage at the time. The case also acts as a convenient stand, and I have spent long hours holding loved ones (the fuzzy kind) binge watching Netflix.

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It also wildly opens up the use of the audio features of the phone. When the phone case is shut, the world of Audible, and background YouTube videos opens up. It has been my constant companion when driving home, listening to Youtube’s random AI selected mixes. (How the hell is Sting related to Two Steps from Hell!?!) Lastly, it makes a great conversation starter. I extricate my Note II armored phablet from my pants and people unanimously decry “How the hell did you fit that there!”

There are downsides of course, the armored leather does wear over time, and the credit card slots are just for decoration. All the insulation acts as a great thermal overcoat, which may be awesome in Siberia, but is less than ideal in Sunny Southern California with a phone that has the optimal operating temperature identical to the surface of the sun. Lastly, the courts have yet to rule if self-defense with an armored phablet is akin to assault with a deadly weapon yet. I’ll let you know.

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