The Wheel never stops turning, it’s time to be somewhere else.
I’m not vain enough to think that this matters to you, I’m posting this more for myself. It’s my moment to break away, to concentrate on the real. If you, passerby, stop and read these words, please know, I never meant anyone any harm.
I’m an addict, you see, Kinja is my waking action and my last thoughts before sleep. It was an easy addiction to fall into. My life has been a crushing struggle against the mundane. It’s seen starry eyed dreams break upon the rocks of mortgages, savings and a dull grey desk. It’s seen dreams crushed by 1 test point too low, aspirations sapped by fatigue and It’s seen my heroes crushed by cancer. All my courage, innovation and perseverance count for naught against chasms of flawless paperwork, a shop too broke in common sense and raw stock to produce anything of note, and family too old and sick to live free.
I have closed on and flew past too many life milestone’s and realized, I’ll never be what I dreamed I’d be.
But on io9...
On io9 I could talk to astronauts, bio-engineers, CEOs, Movie producers possibly Rush Limbaugh, and people of such note and worth (not Rush Limbaugh) I am left breathless. I’ve shot orbits to Mars and beyond, cast my thoughts into the wildest Science fiction, live for centuries, and learn new after new after new. I know my little comments at the bottom of far reaching articles count for little, but I have made millions smile, thousands laugh, hundreds think and maybe, just maybe, made a few of my commenter compatriot’s lives a little better.
Yet it consumes me, and these smiles do not come without cost. I have let work down, left friends adrift, and let mundane-crushed dreams falter. I cannot just make one good one liner and call it a day, I’m addicted to that spark of euphoria of each star, the joy of a commenter’s salute, and the thrill of a debate. Days and days have disappeared into chasing stars.
I am also no longer strong enough to lose anymore of my beloved writers. Charlie, Annalee, Wes, Mika, so many more have parted ways and said goodbye. I feel like a relic from a lost era. It’s far past time to return to the real.
If I am going to salvage the wreckage of my real world, I must cut the lines to LostEngineer far and away and fly.
Now I’ve been on top the trash heap comments too many times and I know many of you will be all too happy to be riddance of me, but to those few who enjoyed me enough to recognize my little commie ball, I love you, in my own way.
Quitting this, in a way, is for you. You see my real world job, behind the 1980's era desk is to make sure all of you are safe. You see my user name comes from this song, and the fact that I can get lost in my own hotel room. (Also, if I didn’t pretend to be a commie bastard, do you think you libtards would let me wander in your midst? /s)
Only the blocks, I arrange aren’t for a failed communist state, they’re the ones that make sure 75% of the world is safe for all mankind. I am the man who works on the ships and planes that keep the world free.
In light of recent news and revelations, I cannot get lost in dreams anymore.
There are goals and licenses, and new grounds, I can break that will keep you all safe and free. For what little I am, for my family, I need to give them my all. So I am off to the real, the quiet oblivion and the grays.
Yet this isn’t goodbye. One of my favorite rag to riches sci-fi stories said it best. “Never say goodbye. If you don’t say goodbye then you aren’t really gone, you just aren’t here right now.” -Carolina RvB
and who knows, if I succeed, you’ll find lostEngineer somewhere tilting at windmills passing, trying to make the world a little shinier. If I don’t .... then look for me somewhere else.
So Keep em flying, io9ers, Never let them take the sky from you, and stay free.